Rabbits

Slowly but surely, I'm getting these damn rabbits done. I couldn't figure out what I was going to make the theme of this one be, but slowly it's just turned into a little kid playing super hero. I'm making it a blanket cape and he's going to have a little zorro mask. We'll see how it goes.

Letter to the Editor or the downfall of comics...part one of ?

*Spoilers Ahead!!!*

I'm about ready to send a letter to Dan Didio and tell him to shove it up his ass. What in the ever loving hell has happened to DC Comics. What started as a great storyline has slowly spiraled down to possibly one of the worst piles of garbage I've read in a medium EVER. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start this shabang from the beginning...

DC started publishing comics in the 1930s; starting the careers of Batman and Superman, and spending the next eight decades creating and maintaining their complicated lives along with Wonder Woman, four different Flash, and several fistfuls of Green Lanterns. As you can imagine, eighty years worth of history might prove problematic to someone writing today, trying to maintain continuity. Earths have been split off, characters have been re-written or have disappeared altogether, mass chaos otherwise known as the DC multiverse.

So DC designed Crisis on Infinite Earths, a story arc designed to fold the mulitverse into one single universe. Published in 1985, Crisis on Infinite Earths served its purpose, and also killed off about a dozen characters including Supergirl and Flash II Barry Allen. (Here he is decomposing away like that dude at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. What? Too on the nose?)

DC then rewrote the origins for pretty much every superhero in their current line up; I won't bore you with details. Everything continued on in relative normalcy for the next 20 years.

In 2004, the editors at DC decided to blow apart the universe and recreate the multiverse. They spent the next several years building up to the main event with multiple story arcs and character developments designed to set up the Infinite Crisis arc. DC was able to get some of the best writers in the biz to help helm their colossal effort, with pretty good success. Again, here comes the destruction of several B level characters...blah blah blah...and all of the main titles jumped a year a head, a move titled One Year Later. Wow. Consider me blown away with their staggering creativity.

Anyways...to cover the events that were missed by everything jumping a year ahead, DC came out with the title 52, a weekly comic that focused on DC's minor characters. It was a really good series, and did a solid job of making what have been completely forgettable characters actually interesting. We got a new Batwoman, and new Question. Probably one of my favorite things that came out of this whole thing is that we finally got to see Booster Gold as a likable character. Up until now he's been kind of a whiny jerk, but they finally showed why Ted Kord actually liked this guy. Kudos.

Once all of these series came to their natural conclusion something happened in the editors' room at DC. I have no proof of what actually transpired, but here's my educated guess.

Editor1 : "Hey, that worked out great. We should do this again."

Editor2 : "That's a great idea. What ideas do you have for another story line?"

Editor1 : "None. I was thinking of doing pretty much the same thing, but with different characters."

Editor2 : "Sounds good. Let's go with a deadly virus theme. That's topical right? What characters do we have left?"

Editor1 : "Let's see...we got that second Robin, that other Wonder Woman, and one of the 50 green lanterns."

Editor2 : "Sweet. And they say you can't be productive after two six packs and a dime bag of weed. We are the exception to the rule!"

What followers of DC were then subjected to was an absolute pile of garbage. One 52 was over, we then got Countdown, which became Countdown to Final Crisis. Fucking terrible. I happened to stumble on this guys blog, Aaron Poehler, who very nicely sums up why Countdown should be thrown into the bottom of a deep pit so I'll let him explain. http://aaronpoehler.com/2008/04/02/dc-comics-countdown-to-final-crisis-is-consistently-terrible/

This concludes part one. To be continued...

I'm back bitches!

Oh yes, the bitch is back in the saddle again! I'm still slathering aloe vera on my vicious burns. Blech. Right now I'm trying to get everything back in order before I have to head back to work tomorrow. Yippie. I've got Dogma on the TV, JT on my ipod, and hash browns on my stove. You wish you were as hot as this. Anyhow, I've to try and piece together some rabbits tonight, so I'll leave you with some pictures of San Diego. Delicious hash browns.

A day at the beach

Oh thank god I'm off of work. I'm spending a couple of days in Dad's apartment in San Diego while he's in Chicago. I got in yesterday, had a completely absurd adventure to the grocery store, and fell asleep at 9:30. (In my defense, San Diego is 2 hours behind and I'd gotten 5 hours of sleep the night before. Shut up.) I'm in the middle of packing for the beach which is hilarious. I cannot pack lightly to save my own life. To an unwitting observer, it looks like I'm trying to make a break for the summit. I'm bringing about half a dozen books, yarn and the obligatory sandwiches. WOO! Suck on it bitches! I'm bringing my camera too, so I'll take some pictures and post 'em when I get back. This is a picture of what the beach looks like.





Going to makes some samiches!!!!

I think I have diabetes

Ah....Easter's right around the corner. That means it's tits ablazin' Marti Grais time! Gotta love lent. Anywho....here's bits and pieces of a rabbit!

And here's the finished version.

Yes. I know what you're thinking. "But Kelly...there are no weird horns, or fangs. No strange feeling in the depths of my soul that this plush object is going to tip toe into my room at night and steal my wallet? What gives?" Maybe I've been eating too much junk lately, but I really just wanted to make something normal. Being a distinct departure from what I normally make, this thing scares the shit out of me. I don't know what it is. Sweet Jesus! Back to the drawer you go!

Brought to you by the letters B and S

As a working member of the retail community, I have come to notice the staggering lack of knowledge that customers possess in how to deal with people that work in retail. I feel it is my duty to inform the masses of the proper way to handle these select individuals, so that customers might full enjoy their shopping experience, and not have a boot shoved up their ass. Thus begins my multi-part series...

How to Deal with People in Retail...You're Guide to not Acting Like a Schmuck.

Lesson #1. How to talk to a person that works in retail.

This might seem somewhat self explanatory, but when talking with a retail worker do not state the obvious. Despite our career choice, assume for the moment that we are not, in fact, morons. Let me give you an example...

I happen to stand next to the exit door of a grocery store for the better part of the day. And as you may have noticed, it's a bleak Midwestern winter. Should you see me standing at my register next to the open door, as winter's foul breath belches its way into my existence, please feel free not to comment on how bitch ass cold it is. I can't tell you how many god damn times a day I get, "Wow it's really cold here. You must be freezing. Why is it so cold by this door?" And as the customer makes this herculean leap of logic from winter outside plus open door equals fucking cold inside, they put on their winter coats, shivering like they are trying to stave off the first signs of hypothermia.

I, however, am in a t-shirt, furiously flinging their groceries trying to keep my blood from freezing solid.

I could list all of the ridiculous things that I hear on a daily basis (like "Do you care bulk Metamucil?") , but I just don't have that kind of time. As well as have tried to block out the majority of it from my memory banks. That being said, here are a few choice phrases that if I ever here again might cause me to chew my own face off.

"Oh it didn't scan, must be free!"

When a customer calls to find out our hours on a holiday, "Oh you're open that late huh? That's great! I mean that's great for me."

Anyone who uses the french pronunciation for croissant.

Telling me that the Japanese manufacturer of the condoms you just bought must have a very different definition of large.

I hope you have enjoyed our first lesson. Please join me next time for part two of our series, "Things not carried by a grocery store, ever."

See you then!

Currently under construction

Okay, so I'm not great about getting projects done in a timely fashion. I start out with great intentions, and then WHAMO! I lose all interest and just want to set the damn thing on fire. In any case, seeing as how these are gifts to friends of mine, I feel honor bound to actually finish. Damn honor system! So here's a little christmas in January for ya...

This is, I think, my second full blown embroidery piece. It's about half done at this point. I still need to spend about 14 hours filling in the tree.

And then there was this...

I swear this is supposed to be a fox. Instead it's turning into a Jim Henson Creature Shop creation. I'm not complaining. I just think it's going to creep into my bedroom at night and start singing about a talking garbage heep. (That's a Fraggle Rock reference for all of those born after 1987).

Until next time...!